Designate Your Melissa

Every group chat has a Melissa — the friend whose name gets yelled from the sidewalk at 2am. The user types that friend's name and answers four quick multiple-choice prompts about them (who picks up on the first ring, who keeps emergency snacks, who has carried someone's heels home), and the app issues a laminated-ID-styled Melissa Designation card: the friend's name, a tier from Probationary Melissa to Melissa Emeritus, three duty tags (door duty, hair-holding, damage control) keyed to the answers, and a seal reading certified drunk-and-outside first responder. The card is built to be dropped…