specification — Issue Your Toddler's Royal Decree

You type your toddler's name and two or three of their actual everyday demands ('more snacks,' 'watch Bluey again,' 'no bath'), and it renders them as a Royal Proclamation scroll — a sealed, gilded decree that translates each toddler tantrum into grandiose archaic English ('BEHOLD, His Small Majesty decreeth further snacks be brought forth, lest the realm dissolve into wailing'). The scroll itself is the share, dropped straight into the family or mom group chat. The joke is the collision between a two-year-old's petty demands and the pomp of a medieval king; the entry hook is 'issue your toddl…