Nolan Theatrical Bladder Clearance Certificate

You enter your name, how many drinks you had before the screening, and your seat row, then tap "Request Clearance." The app spits out an official-looking "Nolan Theatrical Bladder Clearance Certificate" — a stamped medical-style document that either APPROVES you (with a smug seal and a "you may now watch it the way Nolan intended" line) or DENIES you (with a computed "estimated crisis timestamp" like "you will break at 2h47m during the Cyclops sequence, forfeiting your cinematic soul"). The certificate is the whole share: cinephiles screenshot their denial and dunk on themselves. Funny because…