Don't Tap the Glass: Specimen Card

A brass museum-specimen placard generator built around the album's "put your phone down and dance" thesis — where the exhibit is you. Type your @handle, pick a "species" from a fixed dropdown (Phone-Filming Menace, Barstool Statue, Reluctant Two-Stepper, Function DJ Hostage), and pick a "habitat" (the cookout, the wedding reception, the club smoking area), and it composes an engraved brass placard: "SPECIMEN: @you — Reluctant Two-Stepper. Native to the wedding reception. Do not tap the glass; specimen is still learning to dance. Do not disturb." The placard is the share because it's a self-own…